One destructive habit is to constantly compare your life and yourself to other people and their lives. You compare cars, houses, jobs, shoes, money, relationships, social popularity
and so on.
And at the end of the day you create a lot of negative feelings within. And perhaps
also outside of yourself.
But how can you stop doing it? Or at least get control of it and use it in a better
way? Well, here are five tips that have helped me.
The way you behave and think towards others seems to have a big, big effect on
how you behave towards yourself and think about yourself.
Judge people more and you tend to judge yourself more. Be more kind to other
people and help them and you tend to be more kind and helpful to yourself.
A bit counter intuitive perhaps, but that has been my experience. The more you
love other people, the more your love yourself.
So focus your mind on helping people and being kind. This is very helpful to move
away from judging yourself and others so much. And instead focus on the positive
things in yourself and the people around you.
You become more OK with yourself and the people in your world instead of
ranking them and yourself and creating differences in your mind.
You are OK and so are they.
When you start to make myths out of people - even though they may have
produced extraordinary results - you run the risk of becoming disconnected from
You can start to feel like you could never achieve similar things that they did
because they are so very different. So it's important to keep in mind that everyone
is just a human being no matter who they are.
When you have some heroes you are likely to think more about the opposite too.
And place people into neat and tidy folders. You may create villain-like images of
people in your world.
But in truth, things can be kinda messy. Putting someone on a pedestal or making
a villain out of them create barriers in your head and life. It may give you a sense
of being right. But it can hold you back from positive experiences too.
Openness is in the long run more fun than being judgmental.
3. Just realize that you can't win.
Just consciously realizing this can be helpful. No matter what you do you can
pretty much always find someone else in the world that has more than you or are
better than you at something.
Yes, you may feel good for a while when you get a nicer car than you neighbor. But
a week or two later you'll see someone from the next block with an even finer car
4. Give up both sides of comparing.
If you can't stop doing the negative comparisons then stop doing them both.
Because if you're in the headspace where you compare to feel better about
yourself then it's hard to stop it and not also start to compare in way that make
you feel worse and inferior.
So you may need to step out of that whole comparing habit because the two sides
are often connected. Give up the upside to be able to move away from the
5. Compare yourself to yourself.
Instead of comparing yourself to other people create the habit of comparing
yourself to yourself. See how much you have grown, what you have achieved and
what progress you have made towards your goals.
This habit has the benefit of creating gratitude, appreciation and kindness
towards yourself as you observe how far you have come, the obstacles you have
overcome and the good stuff you have done. You feel good about yourself without
having to think less of other people.
Have a great and self-kind day!