Stop comparing YOURSELF to others

 One destructive habit is to constantly compare your life and yourself to other people and their lives. You compare cars, houses, jobs, shoes, money, relationships, social popularity

and so on. 

And at the end of the day you create a lot of negative feelings within. And perhaps

also outside of yourself.

But how can you stop doing it? Or at least get control of it and use it in a better

way? Well, here are five tips that have helped me.

1. Be kind.

The way you behave and think towards others seems to have a big, big effect on

how you behave towards yourself and think about yourself. 

Judge people more and you tend to judge yourself more. Be more kind to other

people and help them and you tend to be more kind and helpful to yourself.

A bit counter intuitive perhaps, but that has been my experience. The more you

love other people, the more your love yourself.

So focus your mind on helping people and being kind. This is very helpful to move

away from judging yourself and others so much. And instead focus on the positive

things in yourself and the people around you. 

You become more OK with yourself and the people in your world instead of

ranking them and yourself and creating differences in your mind.

You are OK and so are they.

2. Don't fall into the trap of hero worship.

When you start to make myths out of people - even though they may have

produced extraordinary results - you run the risk of becoming disconnected from

them. 

You can start to feel like you could never achieve similar things that they did

because they are so very different. So it's important to keep in mind that everyone

is just a human being no matter who they are.

When you have some heroes you are likely to think more about the opposite too.

And place people into neat and tidy folders. You may create villain-like images of

people in your world.

But in truth, things can be kinda messy. Putting someone on a pedestal or making

a villain out of them create barriers in your head and life. It may give you a sense

of being right. But it can hold you back from positive experiences too.

Openness is in the long run more fun than being judgmental.

3. Just realize that you can't win.

Just consciously realizing this can be helpful. No matter what you do you can

pretty much always find someone else in the world that has more than you or are

better than you at something. 

Yes, you may feel good for a while when you get a nicer car than you neighbor. But

a week or two later you'll see someone from the next block with an even finer car

than yours.

4. Give up both sides of comparing.

If you can't stop doing the negative comparisons then stop doing them both.

Because if you're in the headspace where you compare to feel better about

yourself then it's hard to stop it and not also start to compare in way that make

you feel worse and inferior. 

So you may need to step out of that whole comparing habit because the two sides

are often connected. Give up the upside to be able to move away from the

downside.

5. Compare yourself to yourself.

Instead of comparing yourself to other people create the habit of comparing

yourself to yourself. See how much you have grown, what you have achieved and

what progress you have made towards your goals.

This habit has the benefit of creating gratitude, appreciation and kindness

towards yourself as you observe how far you have come, the obstacles you have

overcome and the good stuff you have done. You feel good about yourself without

having to think less of other people.

Have a great and self-kind day!

The Positivity Blog 

http://www.positivityblog.com/