Wednesday, 29 June 2016

Don't let PRIDE get in the way of your relationship


Pride can make us feel great, it can protect us from harm(so we think) but in spite of what it can feel like, it can have a damaging impact on one’s relationship. Most people are blind to their own pride, so it is quite difficult to get them to understand how it is damaging to a relationship.

          When I recall the earlier days of my relationship, I cringe, i cringe because I was so immature (I really was) in the way I communicated and expressed/processed my feelings. I would project my feelings and issues onto my man, leaving me with little or no responsibility, my pride would always affirm that it was him who had to change to make everything better.


Sometimes people hurt us, and as much as we may not want to admit it, our pride can be used as a tool to hurt them back in a passive way. We feel the hurt and think to ourselves “I am better than you” then we cut off ties and put up walls. Or the other way round, we hurt/wrong someone in some way, but we are too proud to apologize for it, fearing that it will somehow make us look weak, vulnerable or that the person could shame us.



It is extremely easy to let pride comfort us during conflict, and say that none of it was our fault. It is also difficult to swallow our pride and be the first to apologize or discuss the issue. Believe it or not pride has a lot to do with how we act in a relationship, but unless one part steps forward and realize that their pride is not worth letting the relationship fall apart, then the relationship risk further problem.

Do you repeatedly fight with your significant other just because of pride and ego problems? Or do you blame each other during an argument?  Before you add more strain to your relationship, here are some reliable tips to avoid the problem of pride in any relationship.

          Listen: In the past anger was my first response to hurt, argument, and disagreement to my significant other, until I learnt how to listen now am able to identify what the root issue is in the heat of the moment by listening. However I didn’t get there overnight and I am still in progress

          Don’t try to change him/her: You have to be willing to change before trying to change someone else. Don’t ever try to change somebody just because you want the person to fit into the kind of life style you want. Nobody comes in complete package.

          Learn to speak: do you know that a lot of problems will disappear or will be solved or avoided if we learn to speak to our significant other instead of talking back or talking about each other? 

          Don’t Judge

          Be Humble

For the sake of our relationship, friendship even marriage, we need to examine ourselves, take the humble part by been the first to extent the olive branch, be the first to say you are sorry, don’t let pride ruin your relationship. In the end, when we are able to drop the pride, we do see the situation in a whole new light.



















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