9 Reasons To Never, EVER Chase After A Guy

Adebayo of 9jastreet.com said Chase after your dreams instead.

So, you have a crush. It makes you as crazy as it does happy. One moment you think all hope is lost, and then there’s that one text message that means it’s back on. You scheme and you plot (because we all do it) on how to play the game.

You vent about hating the game, but we all know that if we were truly as forward as we’d like to be, it would seem far crazier than our hidden agendas. So, we pretend and we over-analyze everything. Absolutely everything. From punctuation marks to the time it takes to respond, it all means something to us when, in all likelihood, it meant nothing at all.

Here’s why you should absolutely stop chasing your crush:

1. Chasing someone that isn’t pursuing you gets you nowhere except running circles around your own heart. When you meet the right person, you won’t need to run after them, because you’ll both want to walk together the moment you see eye-to-eye. Your worlds will change and the only direction left to go will be forward. Otherwise, you wind up wasting time conspiring on how to make someone fall in love with you.

2. You start to forget about the people who aren’t in your life just temporarily. You miss out on treasured memories with your friends and family while trying to force forgettable memories with infatuation.

ITS A MUST READ FOR ALL FATHERS

I got this from Facebook, and i will like to know your opinions on this.

1. In the lifetime of most Nigerian family settings, there are 3 Dispensations of Power.

2. The 1st is the first 25 years in the life of the family (father, mother, children) where power indisputably rest with the father.

3. The 2nd is after the kids have grown & started working when the power shifts to the mother.

4. The 3rd is when the kids move out of the family house or start their own families when the power moves to the children.

6. We'll start from the 1st Dispensation. Total dominance of the father. He is the Lion of the Tribe of his House. The boss.

7. During this dispensation, the father rules with an iron fist. He barks orders & determines what does or does not happen.

8. The father often mattes out corporal punishment to the recalcitrant children. They grow to fear him more than they love him.

10. The father is the provider for the family & everyone is aware of that fact with all attendant consequences.

11. Then the 2nd Dispensation sets in. The children have finished school and have started working. Power shifts to the mother.

Healthy or Abusive?

Asking questions regarding your relationships can help you to discover which relationships in your life are important to you and which ones are not.

IS LOVING YOU SAFE?

IS YOUR LOVE SAFE?

“When a man doesn’t feel safe loving you, he stops.” – T.D Jakes

I was listening to this sermon today when I heard these words and it struck me. I have been meditating on those words all day, not just because they apply to me, but also because it answers a whole bunch of questions. It answers the question of how a person can miss or want someone so bad but at the same time get irritated in their presence. It answers the question of why your mind (thoughts) can be with someone, and your heart seems to be so far away…

How safe is your relationship? How safe is it to love you?

Comparative analysis between wives of today and that of yesterday

I stumbled on this, and its a must read, for me i am speechless

1).Yesterday's Wives.

 Welcome my husband, hope the office was not stressful., your favorite food is ready, let me lead you to the bathroom first,then you take your dinner, you look so tired, am sure you'll be okay after taking your dinner, welcome my one and only. 

Today's Wives Please don't put unnecessary pressure on me, you can go to the fridge pick up the stew, microwave it and boil the remaining rice, i am your wife and not your cook.

8 Things NOT To Say To A Friend Who Has Just Been Dumped

So recently, I went visiting a friend who was dumped via text message. It’s cold, it’s insulting and is a downright act of cowardliness, there is simply no excuse for.  Since then I have been observing the things i say to her since she had her heart broken. Sure, i want to be there for her but how much of what i am saying is constructive or even getting through to her post break-up brain? So I decided to compile all of my emotional research and create following list of what I believe you should not  say to a friend who’s JUST been dumped (via or not via text message).

1. “He’s an ass/dick/cock/jerk/insert one syllable insult.”

Although this is probably accurate if he’s chosen to dump a banging babe such as your friend, THEY DON’T FEEL THIS WAY ABOUT HIM INSTANTLY. They will, in time, hit the angry phase but all they are thinking about in that moment is that the ass/dick/cock/jerk isn’t theirs any more. And that hurts them more than it angers them. 

2.  You’re too good for him anyway.

You know what, probably also very true. However thanks to years of Katherine Heigl and Julia Roberts filled romantic comedies this line has been over used and feels like nothing but a cliché read straight from a script. If you want to remind them how wonderful they are, use specifics! “You are so incredibly intelligent that when you used words with more than 3 syllables you were confusing him!” “You are so stunning, I thought you were only dating him because you were bored, like it was an act of charity or something” (that last one may or may not be from personal experience)

Open Relationship, Do they help or hurt relationship?

photo credit: LovePanky

What is an Open Relationship

An open relationship can be defined as any relationship in which the emotional connection is exclusive, but the physical intimacy isn’t. Both the partners love each other, but they also have sex with other people outside the marriage/relationship

I know of a few couples who have tried the whole "Open Relationship" thing, and so far it turns out horribly. It seems to be a common trend that once the relationship is labeled "Open" that not too long afterwards the relationship ends....badly.

Don't let PRIDE get in the way of your relationship

Pride can make us feel great, it can protect us from harm(so we think) but in spite of what it can feel like, it can have a damaging impact on one’s relationship. Most people are blind to their own pride, so it is quite difficult to get them to understand how it is damaging to a relationship.

          When I recall the earlier days of my relationship, I cringe, i cringe because I was so immature (I really was) in the way I communicated and expressed/processed my feelings. I would project my feelings and issues onto my man, leaving me with little or no responsibility, my pride would always affirm that it was him who had to change to make everything better.

Sometimes people hurt us, and as much as we may not want to admit it, our pride can be used as a tool to hurt them back in a passive way. We feel the hurt and think to ourselves “I am better than you” then we cut off ties and put up walls. Or the other way round, we hurt/wrong someone in some way, but we are too proud to apologize for it, fearing that it will somehow make us look weak, vulnerable or that the person could shame us.

WHEN TO LET GO

Relationships could be termed tricky, in that one can never have total control over one’s feelings no matter how far you’ve come or how well you feel you’ve mastered the art of relating with a fellow.

It is often said that letting go is the most difficult thing and that seems quite true, especially from a lady’s point of view. So, more often than naught, you’d find a lady stuck in the dilemma of whether to hang on or let go. At such moments when your judgment is clouded by emotions and that your close friends (some of whom never liked him anyway) seem clouded by sentiments, its becomes imperative to have a few hands on tricks by which to put your situation (man) to the test and arrive at what you could like to call the right decision. So let’s have a go at it then.